In The Deep Breaths and Dreaming
by TheSeerVolva
Summary: They had been told that all nations were able to live forever but those, the few, whom had disappeared just simply vanished. As another nation, old and happy, becomes self aware of something wrong within his body the world begins to twist and turn of how real immortality is.
1. Introduction

this is just a little intro into something I am thinking to do. If you guys want to see more of it just give me a hollar and I'll continue with more.

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><p>They were always told that they were lucky, they could live forever. But when people he knew around him started to vanish, started to become weak and decrepit, he knew for a fact they were truly wrong. He wondered when it was his time, he was getting old really. Scared to think of it, wondering who was next and knowing that the younger nation need not worry about this.<p>

But he was one of the oldest. He had things to worry about.

He wondered what it would come from, failing economy? Simple age?

Well... He knew they didn't age.

Or at least it was just, slow.

As he was waking he could feel the warm press of lips upon his neck, the light from outside shun in and he did not wish to bother with the morning quite yet. He tried to return back to sleep but the lips continued, moving down his neck to his shoulder, his partner's nose brushing against his skin, tickling him slightly.

"Wake up." The other sounded a bit groggy himself, "I made coffee."

"Hmm No... Let me sleep. It's the weekend."

"Well this is my revenge for you getting me up in the morning with wanting to go for runs and shit." He paused before simply laying on the Dane, "You sick or something?"

"Just tired."

He felt the Dutchman's hand touch his forehead and cheeks and decided to ignore it. "Jan stop." He whined pushing his face back into the pillow.

The Dutchman retracted his hand and moved away, he was a little warm but it wasn't bad. He wondered if he was restless that night, there wasn't any nightmares. It was figured that he would've woken to that to try and calm the Dane down.

Instead of pushing the Dane more to get up he covered him with the covers, "Come down when you wake up, babe."

A amused smile spread across the Dane's face before he closed his eyes in rest.

Waking up felt like a bad idea to him but after the Dutchman left he couldn't help but open his eyes, looking at the closed door. He felt nauseous slightly but he figured it was only the lack of food in his stomach. It was weird, his head felt fuzzy as well, as if it was still staying asleep as his body was awake. Turning his head to the side he watched the window, seeing the little light flood in.

He wanted to go for his run, but in that morning he was fatigued for no reason.

He sat up slowly and pulled some bottoms on to go down the stairs to find his lover in the kitchen, moving close to wrap his arms around his waist.

"Ah so you did get up?" Jan asked, a tone of stability and tiredness in his voice, "Not lazy today after all, Math?"

"Just feeling a bit nauseous."

"Ah so you are sick."

"No, just empty stomach." He leaned his chin on Jan's shoulder, "don't even know if I can stomach food at the moment."

"May just need to wait."

His lips brushed against Jan's shoulder before leaning his forehead against it. "I'm going for a run."

"Then you eat something first..." Jan spoke simply, "don't run on an empty stomach it's a bad feeling."

Mathias chuckled a bit, "You always cared... What are you doing up so early?"

"Didn't have to wake in the middle of the night." Jan replied glancing back, "Glad to see someone is actually getting better rest."

"One week out of four of the month... Not bad." A plate of eggs was brought up to his face, he took it.

"Simple breakfast... Eat before you run."

"You coming with?" Mathias asked, bringing the plate back to the table with utensils and stared at the plate before eating.

"No... I have work to do."

He rolled his eyes, "You're at my house on vacation, why are you working."

"Cause people are idiots." Jan mumbled, "It'll only take today."

"Better..." Mathias said boredly, putting food into his mouth, "... May just get bored with my over worked boyfriend or you just may die from working too much... I give you a week." He joked.

A snort came from the Dutchman, "I'm not that stupid."

Not a moment later a kiss was placed on Jan's cheek, a plate in the sink, and soon a Dane out the door, "I'll be back, don't wait up"

He felt breathless half way through but he pegged it was from the rough wakening. He jogged his usual route, keeping his pace as much as he could so his breaths could match. It was odd, they had seemed lighter as if he couldn't get all the air into his lungs.

Maybe he was getting a cold, but even that seemed off to him. Nations didn't get colds unless there was something wrong with their economy, environment, people... And so far as he knew, they were okay. Pollution was down people were happy, economic was good.

Again, he blamed it on the sleeping. He had been prone to night terrors for a while, and even if he didn't have one that night didn't mean his sleep pattern weren't roughened up a bit.

Halfway through he took a break sitting off to the side on the sidewalk. Breathing he laid back in the grass... He knew he'd be a little late this morning. He just needed rest.

Watching the clouds he stayed there for a little while, till his breath was calm and he didn't feel too tired. Standing, he looked both ways, a bit surprised that there weren't many people out at this time. Then again, he didn't have many neighbors. Unlike his partner, he didn't live in the city, he found it nicer where he was, better for his pets anyway. There were fields, big and wide, filled with crops. He had sold the land he had to a couple farmers but decided to keep a tiny orchard in the back. It was home.

He set off again, jogging back home down the long strip of road.

Standing at the window when he realized the other was gone longer than he should've been. He wasn't exactly the type who wanted his worry to show but as much as a cold demeanor can be icy there was warmth inside it none the less. He was a stickler for time, it was everything, if you were late there was either something wrong or laziness.

Mathias knew how the Dutchman felt about it. If there was a time limit on something he knew it would be flexible but not in the sense of a long span. Jan wasn't over baring, nor controlling... He worried easy that and the Dutchman was obsessed with being on time.

Either way he pulled himself away from it, he knew well the Dane was okay.

Within the half hour, Mathias had returned, covered in sweat and laughing.

"Really needed that run." Mathias said excitedly, moving up to the Dutchman to hug him up.

"You say that every... Oh god get off Mathias you're all sweaty!" He pushed.

"Did you take your shower yet?"

"No..."

The Dane laughed keeping his grip on the other. "We can just take a shower together then."

Jan only shrugged before lips pressed to his calmly.

"No but really Math get the shower ready you're all sweaty and shit..."

A laugh came from the other as he wandered off, soon followed by Jan in tow.

The days moved on. As much as they lived normally there was more rough mornings that arose. It was harder for him to wake, needing a good jolt. It became like this over the course of a month, and soon it seemed harder for him to stay awake.

But through the time, both soon figured out that it wasn't just some sort of exhaustion of which they thought... But something else, far worse than they imagined.


	2. Apnea

**Apnea**, **apnoea**, or **apnœa** (Greek: ἄπνοια, from ἀ-, privative, πνέειν, to breathe) is a term for suspension of external breathing.

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><p>It never occurred to him in an instance that he wasn't visible. Mathias was the one to climb to the top of a tree, stands on the branches, and yell to the sky of his existence and present point. He looked upon stars and counted the little souls they bared, their lights shining on the black velvet canvas they called the sky.<p>

It was these nights he would think about voids and existence of beings of great power he always believed he was one of.

It was as if even the sleepless nights and tired mornings were his ecstasy and adrenaline, the night terrors were his way of a poet's haunting.

"I'm a king among men"

"Are you now?" the rich thick smoke poured from his lips, whitened more so by the cool air and the heat on his breath. Jan kept his seat upon the snow a fear of slipping keeping him bundled in jackets on the rooftop.

The snow had fallen heavily that day, coating the ground with the fluffy white substance. Mathias had found his way up to the roof of the home, sitting on the low slope as he watched the sun set. Jan was to follow, nerves pushing him to do so in case the other was to fall.

"I am… you are too." The Dane continued, soon to stand on the packed snow on the roof. He opened his arms wide as the sun moved, rays hitting his body in a silhouette of gold.

Jan watched him, the cigarette dangling from his lips glowing. He took in another puff finishing it off before putting it into the snow next to the others they had left.

"My ass is cold lets go back inside."

"Stop being a baby and come stand with me."

"With my luck I'll fall off the roof, so no." He slowly skidded his way over to where the balcony was, climbing down carefully, "Come down when you want but don't get a cold or something. Don't fall off."

He heard faint laughter after he went inside, closing the screen door but not locking it. He rubbed at his arms, he wasn't one too well for the cold like his counterpart even though he enjoyed it. He went down the hall to the washroom, flicking on the lights as he entered. The rooms of the Dane surely loved little lights as they were lit up sporadically throughout the room. He undress after turning on the shower head, making sure the water was heated and the room was fogged with steam before he undressed and went to stand in the shower, taking in the warmth of the water. He truly loved heat.

Mathias not to long after the sun was fully risen slipped off the roof and onto the balcony, making his way into the home. He glanced around before heading over to his room, rummaging in the suitcase Jan had to place clothes into the drawer. It was always like Jan to never unpack, it wasn't like he was going to shoo him out early. After that, he took one of his own large sweaters out from the closet along with a loose pair of jean and placed it onto the bed before stripping himself bare and deciding to sneak into the shower with the other man. Once in he slipped his arms around the other man, making him jump.

"Don't tell me I scared you. I wasn't that quiet." A snicker came from the Dane as he pressed his lips softly to the Dutchman's neck, "you need to make coffee."

"You can make coffee too you know." Jan said back lazily, glancing back.

"I like it when you make it though." His hands warmed up against Jan's stomach and the running water, "It tastes better."

"… How'd you sleep? I don't have to wake you up again until morning now." He paused and thought, "you're the one usually waking first… you're sleeping in a lot"

"Been doing that a lot lately… haven't had too many night terrors… more like nightmares now."

A small grunt was Jan's reply before turning around, arms moving out of his way before feeling them slip back into place around his waist. He stayed silent for a moment.

"I don't know about you Jan but hey they seemed to get better."

Another grunt and Mathias pecked his lips with his own. "Go make me some coffee."

His chest was rising and falling unevenly, it was subtle but once they were on the couch, cuddled up next to each other Jan could feel the uneven breaths. Mathias had fallen asleep, arms wrapped around the Dutchman's waist. Little breaths were lighter than they should've been. It wasn't that unnerving, he figured he was just having a little dream that seemed a little rough.

It was when Mathias started to grip and squirm that it wasn't a normal dream small panicked sounds motioned out of the Dane's chest. He decided to wake him before it got worse.

"Mat.." He whispered, shaking him lightly to get him up and see if he was okay. It was odd to him, Mathias was one to wake up easier before the dreams started or at the beginning but in the past month it had been such a hassle even to wake him on the normal bases. It was today and a couple times before he was only up and about early. But on those days he seemed more exhausted than ever.

"Mathias..." He pushed at him again rocking him a bit harder than before to get him up and soon enough moments later he did.

The sound the Dane made made it as if he hadn't been breathing at all.

Mathias' chest hurt, more specifically his lungs. He took in large gasps of air in as a look of panic covered his face. He coughed, throat feeling dry, stomach churning as he inhaled. Soon after calming most of his coughing down he sat up quickly and covered his mouth, the urge to throw up there.

Hands placed themselves onto his shoulders as he settled, air coming back in to normal paces and panicked eyes had settled. Nausea leaving the Dane's system as he breath in deeper and slowly. Shock had run through both their cores, worry hitting Jan's eyes instantly after.

"You okay?"

"Yeah... I think so, it's probably just a rough patch."

"I've never seen you do that before."

Mathias shrugged as his only response, cuddling back into the other man soon after. "Think I just scared myself on the wake up." He laughed, though behind it he wasn't so sure.

His run the day after Jan had left was late. Twelve in the afternoon and he ignored the call from his boss only to send in a text message apologizing. He felt as though he needed the day. Waking up that morning to drag himself out of bed in order to put food into his stomach that only felt to be empty. Running his normal route he felt himself needing to slow down again and stop halfway through to sip his water and take a small breath to continue. Coughing he stood up straight and cracked his knuckles before running again back home.

His mind wandered, eyes moving to the fields of the farmland he passed on the way. It made him stop again, looking and gazing at the cows that were grazing close to the wheat farm next door. He smiled as he jogged the rest of the way back home.

He was tired again after he made his way onto the low roof, sitting upon it and looking at the clouds. Laying back he stretched his arms out to the sides, just thinking about the day.


	3. Influenza

Hey guys! Sorry this took a bit but I am so so happy people are reading and even enjoying this story! your comments mean so so much! 3

Influenza is an infectious disease caused by the influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: a high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle pains, headache, coughing, and feeling tired. There are other such forms of flu such as the stomach flu and many others that can be far severe.

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><p>He woke again with a deep inhale and harsh hurting lungs. There was no feeling of them expanding and though his mind was tired it was in slow panic as he tried to breathe normally but seemed he couldn't.<p>

The doctor had told him he had slight sleep apnea and that he would only be bothered by it sporadically. And though the doctor told him this, and that he did not mind it, even if it still hurt when it was closer to his waking. His lungs would stop, forget how to breathe, and he would wake up either choking or heaving in deep breaths as if he was starting his lungs up like a car.

This couldn't be normal.

Especially for a man in his position.

As his lungs settled themselves he started his day, getting up and dressing in his running gear, there was no way he would stop this ritual of his. He quickly moved to his kitchen, taking in deep breaths as he walked and gathered food from the fridge to blend.

Berries, greens, nuts, Jan had thought of him as obsessed over weird concoctions of health drinks that may have looked and smelt somewhat peculiar but had the taste and energy that only his body really loved. Obsession though was not exactly the term he liked, but seeing as he had about five a day… he couldn't well deny it even if he joked it was to combat his drinking.

He drank down this days first drink feeling a slight sting in his empty stomach but it cooled soon after. He hurried to the front door, tying his runners on his feet before setting his watch once more as he did every morning.

He set out after that, moving in a light jog down the street dusted and piled with snow. It was cold, his muscles tensed at the wind, shivering before he started in a full run. Breathing in the cold air brought a sting to his lungs but he loved it, using it as adrenaline as he ran at a steady pace along the long farmer's road. The crops were gone, the sheep with it as well as the cows. It was completely white. He admired it, full heartedly admired the cold and the snow, he knew it was harsh, he knew it was beautiful, but he believed it to be more than that.

He always thought of such things as he ran, contemplating the world, why it was the way it was, how beautiful it is. People remarked him as that of an idiot, a man with his head in the clouds, but he knew better, he kept quiet even though he felt the angering sting of it ringing in his ears. There was a chance in the world that he was even better than them for keeping his mouth shut.

He stopped halfway through the run to catch his breath, his lungs letting him even go farther than they were letting him in the past month. He breathed in, blowing out white from the heat of his breath hitting the cold of the air. He smiled laughing and lifting his arms up into the air as he breathed in again. Winter had a certain smell to it, or that is what he had thought, almost a cool brisk of oak and pine. Stretching his arms above his head he took another deep breath before starting for his home.

The wind blew over loose snow carrying it with its breeze. Mathias honestly couldn't think of something more free at the moment, he watched it fly up into the air and trickle back down again. He never looked straight forward as he ran, jogged, or walked, Mathias cared more for the sights around him and how much beauty it would shine in that very moment. He only wanted to catch those glimpses.

It could be honestly put that Mathias felt better in the last months he first had troubles with his breathing. Though the doctor did give him a inhaler (in case it was Asthma), he refused to bring it with him nor take it. So far to him his lungs were only getting better without the help of some steroids shoved in a tiny inhaler... why indeed would he ever need it?

Less than a block from his home he had noticed a taxi car pull up to his house. he continued at his pace, curiosity sparked in his eyes as he watched the door fly open and the taxi driver get out, reaching into the truck for a large suitcase. As the passenger door swung open a familiar figure slowly emerged out. Mathias smiled widely, picking up his pace as he saw him, waving when he noticed Jan turning around.

He sprinted until he was close enough to lightly jog into the other man, wrapping his arms as his breathes were heavy. Pressing into him as he smiled, humming at the scent of the Dutchman's cologne.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming! How are you?" He asked pecking his lips to the other's cheek, "I've missed you."

Jan watched the Taxi man drive off before he answer, "uh yeah... Bit lonely, hadn't seen you in a while," He kissed Mathias sweetly on the lips, "I missed you too."

Mathias only returned the man's words with a sweet smile on his lips and a short kiss back.

"It's cold."

"Baby... come, inside. I'll shower and you unpack." He watched Jan grab his bag before he took the Dutchman's arm, pulling him into the home.

"You know that cab cost a lot." Jan said, passing through the door, "Why do you live so far out?"

Mathias gave a laugh, "Oddly enough I like the solitude."

"That is odd... Seeing as you're overly social as it is around others."

Another laugh and Mathias pecked his lips softly against Jan's, "Usually." He was off then to take his shower, being followed up the stairs by Jan yet ducked into the washroom as the Dutchman moved to the master bed.

Mathias' house was out by the farms, Jan figured it was because of the odd solitude the Dane had spoke of, but there was suspect of something much deeper in mind. He knew before the Dane was a warrior, a Viking, he was a farmer... maybe he wished to dwell? He knew Mathias was sentimental, he always held trinkets from his past and would look at them constantly.

Placing his suitcase on the floor he began to unpack, opening the back and putting his clothes into the drawer that was always cleared for when he came and stayed. The room was large and light compared to its darkened red carpets. An off white, yellowish in colour was hit upon the light walls as the sun loomed in from the various windows in the room. The windows in the room were large and he could see the sky and the far off dairy farm past the large grounds of snow that once contained abundance of wheat. It was beautiful and in a way it reminded him of home, mostly of Friesland. He continued, putting the last of his belongings in the drawer and taking his suitcase, bringing it down the stairs and placing it in the front closet.

In Jan's eyes Mathias had seemed to feel better but looked still ill, even in the slightest. He remembered the gasping when he had woken the Dane the last he visited. He planned on staying longer, maybe if he stayed he could hopefully watch over him... he was worried, he seemed to always be. He figure it was just his form of Anxiety.

A naked pair of lean arms slipped around his shoulders as he felt the cool wet strands of Mathias' hair on the back of his neck before soft kisses were places where the hair had touched. The tickle on his skin made him shiver slightly.

"So?"

Jan turned around to see Mathias, shirtless with only a pair of pajama bottoms on.

"Sooo?" He asked in return receiving a couple pecks upon his lips. Mathias was always over affectionate when they hadn't seen each other in a long time. He always had to hold him to kiss him properly.

"It there a purpose to your visit or did you just miss me?" Mathias' lips curled at its ends as he let go and moved backwards towards the kitchen, hands behind him like some innocent child trying to hold excitement.

It was the most genuine smile the Dane always made.

Jan had stayed for fourteen days, watching Mathias' mood and energy drain itself on the odd days, and today it had seemed to only worsen. He was bed sick, or that's what Jan forced him too, the Dane was ever so stubborn when it came to doing anything by himself.

"Don't make me call Ludwig." Jan called from down the hall as he saw Mathias rise from the bed again, lowering back in when he heard the small threat.

Jan soon appeared in the room with a warm wet towel, placing it on the Dane's forehead.

"I don't remember you ever being this sick."

Mathias glances away, sniffing, "it's a cold."

"I don't think _this_ is a cold…" He stated patting the towel on Mathias' forehead, "Your cold sweating, you've been throwing up, your temperature has been through the roof… I've called your boss, she said she'll come to see you but there's nothing wrong with your governance or economy, or wrong enough for you to be remotely sick." He sighed, leaving the towel on the other's forehead, "you're even shivering… not to mention your mood is down in the shitter…"

Mathias remained quiet, glancing out one of the many windows in his room to see the snow begin to fall. "I wonder what it would be like to be a snow flake."

"Now that's the crazy talk I know." Jan smiled kissing at the other's temple, "I'll get you something that'll help you."

"Call Lukas…" Mathias said, voice catching in itself, "He'll tell you what ever if you need the help for."

"okay." Nodding in return he stood up straight and made his way out of the bedroom stopping at the door, "If I see you up I will call Lukas or Ludwig to come over and help keep you in that bed…" He rose a brow with a little smirk.

"I'll stay in bed geez." Mathias' laugh turned into a cough halfway through making Jan frown before moving down the stairs.

He was throwing up everything he had in his stomach days later. Lukas had come onto his doorstep at the Dutchman's request after four more days of this so called "cold". With him, the Norwegian brother had brought with him all the concoctions he thought would cure his fever yet all it reminded Mathias of when they were younger and hospitals were no such thing.

"Here, I emptied it." Lukas put the pale down next to Mathias' bed, eyes glancing over the Dane's face in worry that was hidden by his eye's colour, "How are you feeling now?"

"Better." The Dane nodded in return, "You didn't have to clean that, I could ha-…"

Lukas held up his hand, "you're not begging me… you're sick, it's the only time you keep your hugging at minimum."

Mathias laughed, Lukas gave a little smile. Lukas was never exactly the hugging type, and even though Mathias knew that he always wanted to make sure the other felt loved in anyway.

Lukas took the mug that had been filled with a brew of an old time recipe.

"You always did say Eir* did have the best recipes."

"Stop sounding so old, it doesn't suit your childish face." Lukas passed the cup back and forth in his hands, "I'll make you some more, Jan will be up with food so I'll be back with some more of this…" He looked up from the cup and over the Dane's face, "You're still pale…"

"I'll be fine Lukas."

Lukas wasn't so sure after he nodded and left the room to the kitchen.

Jan still slept in the same Bed as Mathias as the days went on, waking when terrors struck the Dane in the night or when his own old nightmares of dark memories clouded in his dreams.

He had stayed up this night watching the uneven breaths that reached through Mathias lungs to blow between his lips. He looked peaceful almost like a child in a way of the innocence of his face. His lips were slightly parted as little brushes of air seeped through slowly.

They were lucky Lukas had come, Mathias was soon to even keep food in his stomach after he had drunken that strong odorous brew that both stunk up and ruined the kitchen all in one. Jan had spent most of the time cleaning up the kitchen and pots. What was even in it? Either way, Mathias seemed better now that it was in his system. Jan couldn't help but keep his hand in his caressing it softly with his thumb. Mathias had told him about the Apnea, it made Jan stay up an extra hour at night some nights when Mathias seemed more breathless. This was one of those nights, he watched as the other slept soundly with a face of an innocent boy yet the mind of thousand civilizations.

It was when the breathing stopped he held his own breath, he knew it would come back, it was only in a short amount of time and he counted the seconds until the breath would usually come back. But the breath had stopped and the next thing was the convulsing of Mathias' Chest.

"Math?" He shook the other, turning him over onto his back hoping the breath would enter again.

"Mathias?!" His voice was louder but remained hushed, "Math come on wake up!"

Panic began to rise in his own chest, he didn't know what to do. His chest was holding tight onto his own lungs as well.

"MATH!" He was loud this time shocking the Dane awake but instead of breathing there was a chocking, almost a gargle coming from Mathias.

Panic crossed their faces, Mathias reaching at his chest as he struggled. His body shook, tears brimming at his eyes as he watched Jan's face back. Frozen, all Jan could do was hold the other's shoulders.

"LUKAS!" Jan called, hearing the other Nord running down the hall and swinging the door open.

Jan was holding Mathias' shoulders, grip tight and his eyes wide as he watched Mathias.

"Move." Grabbing Jan's hands lightly Lukas brought them away from Mathias, moving to place his ear against Mathias' chest.

"Call an Ambulance." Lukas urged, hitting the Dutchman's leg hard to get him moving and out of his shock.

Jan then dashed out the Bedroom door, reaching for the first phone he found and dialed. He called, hoping that someone who could understand him might answer, he knew his Danish was scrappy so he started to blather his words quickly and urgently in English.

Within a half hour the Ambulance came and gathered Mathias up in a gurney rushing him to the hospital with Jan and Lukas speeding behind them in Lukas' car. They were quiet the whole trip, Jan sitting in his Anxieties and Lukas in short controlled breaths and concentration.

When the doctor talked to both of them, it was stated that fluids had gathered into Mathias' lungs as he slept. He would have to stay until they could make him stable once more.

All Jan could think of was World War One.*

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><p>*Eir is the healer of Asgard, the "Norse Hygeia" as some call her. Her name simply means "healer". It is disturbing to some to see her listed among the handmaidens of Mengloth, a Jotun goddess.<p>

*The influenza pandemic of 1918-1919 killed more people than the Great War, known today as World War I (WWI), at somewhere between 20 and 40 million people. It has been cited as the most devastating epidemic in recorded world history. More people died of influenza in a single year than in four-years of the Black Death Bubonic Plague from 1347 to 1351. Known as "Spanish Flu" or "La Grippe" the influenza of 1918-1919 was a global disaster.

-  
>Influenza<br>PBS: watch?v=lcR0TmTT6Eo

Documentary on Influenza (This one is on the bird flu): watch?v=6yV6uZSAeu8


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